Last month, I talked about the importance of good memories of your companion. Remembering the good times spent with your pet can help neutralize the guilt and grief that accompanies his loss.
One way to help you focus on these good memories is to create a memorial in honor of your pet - a tribute or reminder that will allow you access and focus on their memories. Creating such a tribute can be a very effective way to help you cope with your grief (although it can also cause a few tears!), And this will allow you to have a fond memory of your companion in the years to come. .
There are different ways to create a memorial. Here are some of the most popular:
Create a photo tribute: One of the ways is to choose a particularly successful photo, have it beautifully framed, and place it in a place where it will give you the most comfort. Another way is to put together a set of representative photos of your animal - that is to say, during various activities and at different ages - is to make a collection or a collage. For example, you can buy pre-designed special photo frames for 20 photos (or maybe even more), which is a great way to display your collection. You can then nicely frame the photo collection, and thus preserve it.
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Have a portrait painted: many animal painters offer their service in animal magazines; you can also perhaps find one on the yellow pages of the directory (or on the Internet, section "portrait of animals".) These artists generally work from a photo (because it is difficult to convince a animal to pose). All you have to do is find a good quality photo of your companion (preferably a photo with a clear view of his head), and send or bring it to the painter. Many people prefer the portrait which is an original work of art to a photo, to pay homage to their animal.
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Use your manual skills to create a tribute: If you like a particular form of art or handicrafts, use it to make a memorial to your animal. For example, I used embroidery sets whose works looked like my animals to pay tribute to them. You can also find services that can upload your animal's photo to an embroidery canvas or create a canvas from a photo. If you have a knack for painting on ceramic or pottery, make a painted statue of your animal.
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Pay a written tribute. A written tribute can take many forms: a poem about or on your animal, a letter addressed to your animal (or even a letter addressed to you by your animal), the story of his life or anything else which you think is a good way to express your feelings or memories. It can also be a family project, each contributing, all assembled in a single volume, which can be viewed by all.
With today's printing techniques, you can even have a real original book including written tributes and photos. The easiest way to do this is to put your writing on a computer in the desired format (by choosing the font, color, format….) Have your favorite photos scanned or scanned yourself, if you have a scanner . You can arrange your text and graphic work using a simple word processing program (like MS Word) or print the photos and texts and assemble them by hand. Your book can then be reproduced and bound in a print shop or photocopy shop. This will cost you a few dollars, but it’s a great way to make copies for family members.
A word of warning, however, regarding the written tributes: although it is a wonderful way to do your mourning work and to pay tribute to your animal, do not wait for people outside your family circle and your friends are seriously interested in your writing. For example, don't be tempted to send your animal's life story to your favorite animal magazine. These magazines receive hundreds of identical requests each year and are unable to use them. No matter how wonderful and special your animal is to you, and although it is truly "unique", that does not mean that its life story is "publishable"!
Pay homage on the Internet. Some sites offer this service for free. You will find some of them on my website . Because many sites offer this service for free, I don't recommend paying for it - unless the service is sponsored by a worthwhile organization and your contribution is paid directly to that organization. Many sites also let you send a photo of your companion.
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To plant a tree. A company called Treegivers offers to plant a tree in the name of your animal in the state of your choice. Or plant a tree or plant as a souvenir in your own garden. The green spaces service can also authorize you to plant a tree in one of the city's parks, in memory of your animal.
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Obtain a special urn for your pet's ashes. If you have chosen cremation for your pet, you may want to keep the ashes in a decorated urn. Today you can find a whole assortment on the market. They are made of fine wood, stained glass, shiny metals or even marry the shape of specific races. I even believe there is a company that puts your pet's ashes inside a statue. To find the companies that sell their urns, look at the classifieds of most animal magazines.
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Contribute to an animal protection organization. Often animal shelters provide a plaque or paving stone with your pet's name for a minimal donation. For example, when the "humane society" of Olympia, Washington, moved, it offered copper plates that were used to line the walls of the main entrance; in exchange for a donation, one could have the name of his animal and a message engraved on the plaque. But this is not limited to animal welfare organizations. When the library in San Carlos, California opened its new facilities, it offered flagstones that could be engraved with a message, and a lot of tribute to animals became part of the structure.
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Donate for research: If your pet has died from a specific disease, there may be an organization that researches the treatments. A donation to this organization can help other animals (and their owners) in the future.
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Buy a memorial item: believe it or not but I realized that the purchases were really therapeutic. I still have a bronze imitation statue (it's really plaster but it looks like bronze) that I bought 15 years ago when a beloved cat died. The cat was black so I looked for a store with cat related items and bought everything I could find that had a black cat as its motive.
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Here are some ideas :
Put the photo of your animal on a box whose walls can contain photos and put in the box some treasures of your companion such as his collar or a lock of hair.
Place a stele in tribute to your animal in your garden even if you have not buried your animal at home.
To help you with your mourning work, keep a journal in which you write the story of your animal's life.
Build your own website in honor of your companion.
Put a special statue (not necessarily a funeral item) in a place in the garden that your pet particularly liked. (for example a statue of an animal, an angel, St Francis ...)
If you have other ideas, share them with me and I'll post them in my next columns.
What I do not recommend is to make your memorial a holy place. I am aware that some people love holy places but in my opinion it tends to keep the mind and heart focused on death and loss and not on life, love and memory. Your companion was part of your life and this tribute should also be part of your life, not be a permanent reminder of his death.
